


A Kiss With A Fist (is better than none)

by wouldbflat



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Character Study, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Pre-Canon, Reggie Peters Has Bad Parents (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie Peters Needs a Hug (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie Peters-centric (Julie and The Phantoms), Sort Of, glow in the dark stars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29473494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wouldbflat/pseuds/wouldbflat
Summary: Reggie is six years old when he realizes there are monsters in his house. He can't see them, but they're very loud. He can hear them yelling and sometimes he can even hear them knocking things out of the cupboards or slamming doors. So he gets some glow stars to help protect him.Or, I shamelessly hurt Reggie for 3000 words without a plot.
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex Mercer & Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 79





	A Kiss With A Fist (is better than none)

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically just 3000 words of hurting Reggie without a plot. The idea of Reggie having glow stars on his ceiling wouldn't leave me alone, so it eventually turned into this. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Title is from 'Kiss With a Fist' by Florence + The Machine (of course).
> 
> tw: nothing too bad, Reggie's dad shoves him and they yell a lot.

**October 1984**

Reggie is six years old when he realizes there are monsters in his house.

He knows they only come out at night, when he and his parents are tucked into bed. Sometimes they come even after Reggie falls asleep, waking him up in the middle of the night. When this happens, he covers his ears and hides under the covers. 

The monsters aren’t very scary, though. At least, not as scary as the monster he saw on the TV at Luke’s house. They weren’t supposed to be watching it, but Luke’s dad hadn’t even noticed them hiding behind his recliner.

So the monsters in his home aren’t very scary, but they’re very loud. Sometimes he hears them knocking things out of the cupboards or slamming doors. 

He’s been woken up by the monsters three nights in a row when he decides to ask his mom for help. 

She’s sweeping in the kitchen and muttering to herself when he walks in. 

“Mommy,” he starts, but she cuts him off almost instantly. 

“Don’t come in here, Reggie!” She practically shouts. “There’s broken glass on the floor, I don't want you to cut yourself.”

“Oh,” Reggie nods understandingly. She must have heard the monsters too then! And she’s being really nice by cleaning up their mess!

“Do you know why they break our things?” Reggie asks. Maybe she has an idea on how to help solve the monsters’ problems! His teacher at school says it’s better to talk about the things that bother him. Maybe he can help the monsters talk to each other!

But his mom just looks confused. “Who’s they, Reggie?”

“The monsters!” He answers. She probably just wants to make sure that’s what he’s talking about. 

“What monsters?” So maybe she doesn’t hear them. Oh well, Reggie can explain and she can still help him!

“The ones that come out at night, Mommy.” he explains. “I hear them yelling, and sometimes they break our things.”

His mom freezes, so he hurries to add, “They’re not mean, Mommy. I think they need to talk about their problems, just like Mrs. B said!”

“Reggie,” his mom says, kneeling down in front of him. “There are no monsters.”

Reggie crosses his arms. She doesn’t believe him. “But there are, Mommy.” he tries to convince her. “I hear them all the time when I’m trying to go to sleep!”

His mom opens her mouth, then closes it. Reggie hopes she’s not going to argue with him anymore. 

“How about this, Reg: why don’t we get you some glow stars for the ceiling in your room?”

Reggie thinks about this. How will this help him?

His mom must sense his hesitation, because she keeps trying to convince him. “The stars only glow in the dark, and they’ll keep away the monsters. You’ll be able to fall asleep easier.”

“You promise?” Reggie asks. If the answer is as simple as getting some glow stars, then why not?

“Promise.” His mom answers. “We’ll go to the store after lunch, before your dad gets home. Okay sweetie?”

“Okay, Mommy.” Reggie agrees. “I’m going to go color in my room!”

As he runs up the stairs, he misses his mom leaning on the counter with her face pressed into her hands.

  
  


**August 1986**

Reggie is ten years old now. That means he’s too old to be scared of the shadows in his room. This is what convinces him to get out of his bed in the middle of the night. 

Normally, he’d be too scared to go downstairs to get a drink of water, but he’s old enough now. Still, that doesn’t stop him from sprinting from his bed to the door, determined not to let the shadows get him.

The monsters that entered his house six years ago still haven’t left, but they’ve stopped breaking things. 

Mostly. 

Sometimes Reggie will enter the kitchen in the morning to find his mom sweeping up yet another broken plate or glass. But it doesn’t happen as often anymore, so maybe the monsters have realized that it isn’t polite to break other people’s things.

The glow stars didn’t help like his mom said they would, but they’re pretty cool, so he keeps them up anyways.

Reggie has made it safely out of his bedroom and is at the top of the stairs when he hears the monsters come out. Reggie freezes where he is, then shakes himself.

They’re even louder here than in his bedroom! 

Maybe he can finally help them though, just like his kindergarten teacher said! He misses Mrs. B, she was really nice and didn’t treat him like he was stupid.

Reggie makes his way down the stairs, careful to avoid the squeaky step. He doesn’t want the monsters to hear him and run away. 

Reggie stops before he enters the kitchen, and he listens. He wants to know what they’re fighting about so he can help them. 

The voices kind of sound like his mom and dad, but Reggie knows it’s not them. His mom said that she and Dad go to bed not long after him. Reggie figures it’s just a coincidence. 

“...if you actually pulled your weight around here!”

“Excuse me? Do you know how much I do-”

“Well you’re never here-”

“That’s because I  _ work- _ ”

Reggie steps into the kitchen, bracing himself for what the monsters look like, but he comes face to face with the monsters who actually are-

His mom and dad.

Reggie stands, unnoticed and dumbfounded as his parents scream at each other. He’s not even registering what they’re saying anymore, all he can focus on is the fact that the monsters he’s been hearing since he was six are his  _ parents _ .

Reggie turns and runs back upstairs, not even caring if he’s caught. He throws himself onto his bed, crying into his pillow. 

He can’t believe it. After all these years, the ones really yelling and smashing plates were his parents. 

His mom, who calls him  _ sweetie  _ and gives him forehead kisses.

His dad, who takes him to baseball games and calls him  _ sport _ .

As his tears slow, Reggie turns to look at his ceiling. The glow stars were still there, shining as bright as ever. Part of him wants to rip them off, can only see them as a symbol of his mom’s lies. But the bigger part of him can see how comforting they were. They shone bright and consistent, and focusing on them helped drown out the screaming from below.

Tracing the shapes of the stars with his eyes, Reggie falls asleep.

\---

Things are the same as usual when he gets up in the morning. His dad is off at work and his mom is sitting at the kitchen table. 

Reggie quietly makes his way to his chair at the table, not sure how to act around his mom now that he knows she’s the one behind all the noise at night.

But his mom just mumbles  _ morning sweetie _ as she kisses his forehead and gets up to serve him breakfast.

It’s no different than usual, and Reggie is confused. Maybe it wasn’t his mom in the kitchen, maybe it was the monsters making her yell like!

_ That’s it _ , Reggie thinks to himself, smiling brightly at his mom as she puts a bowl of cereal in front of him. 

It’s not actually his parents. The monsters are around here somewhere still, but everything is okay, because his mom is still calling him  _ sweetie _ . 

**June 1989**

Reggie’s at the age where his friends are asking to have sleepovers now. He loves sleeping at someone else’s house, loves how quiet it is when trying to go to sleep. He loves the pancakes in the morning and the lack of broken dishes on the floor. 

Luke and Alex don’t ask to sleep at his house anymore, they’ve picked up that Reggie is uncomfortable with having them over. Reggie knows his excuses are lame and the boys can probably see right through them, but they don’t push.

That’s one thing Reggie loves about his boys, they know when to back off from a topic.

And he’s so grateful for it, he doesn’t know how he would explain the monsters to them. 

He knows it’s childish to still call the yelling figures in his kitchen ‘monsters’, but that’s how it is in his head. Something happens to his parents at night, something that makes them start yelling at each other for no reason. And even though the yelling has sometimes bled into the daytime, and sometimes his mom’s glares are directed at him, he knows his parents are still good people. 

Sure, his dad yells at him sometimes, but he deserves it. He’d failed another test, or forgotten to do a chore, so it’s not like his dad hated him. His parents still love him, he knows that for sure. He’s just not ready to introduce his friends to the monsters.

Reggie knows it’s even more childish to have the glowing stars on his ceiling, but they still provide him with a level of comfort. 

His dad gives him crap about them sometimes, says they’re too babyish for a teenager, but Reggie still keeps them up. They remind him of better times, when he was naive enough to believe there were actual monsters fighting in his kitchen.

So he relishes the time he spends at Alex’s house, and the nights he stays with Luke. He always makes sure to hug Mrs. Patterson goodbye, thanking her silently for the experience that he should be used to having at home. 

  
  


**March 1991**

Reggie runs home that day, clutching his test paper in his hands. He got a C plus! He studied so hard for it, his English grade is going to go up so much. He’s so excited to show his dad, he can finally make him proud. 

“Dad!” he practically shouts as he runs into the house. “Dad, I got my test back!”

Reggie skids to a stop in front of the kitchen where, as usual, his parents are arguing. But this time he can make them stop, he has something that will make them happy.

“Dad!” he says loudly, interrupting them. “Look what I got on my test!” His dad rips the paper out of his hands and stares at the grade. 

Reggie stands with his hands behind his back, grinning at his parents. At last, his dad looks up at the paper. He’s not smiling though, and Reggie’s grin falters. He looks to his mom, who is also glowering at the paper. 

“You think this is somethin’ to be proud of, boy?” his dad growls. “This is the best grade you could get?”

“I-I studied really hard, Dad!” Reggie protests. He really did, he stayed up almost all night for three days studying for that test! Alex and Bobby had quizzed him on all the terms he needed to know. He had been ready for it!

Reggie looks to his mom for help, but she’s turned away. 

“Oh. I’m sure you did.” his dad says sarcastically. “I’m sure you studied real hard while hanging out with your  _ boyfriends _ .” As his dad spits the last word, Reggie feels his heart sink. How stupid was he, to think that a C plus was a good grade?

“Good God,” his dad continues. “Do better next time, Reginald. After all we do for you, the least you could do is try a little harder in school.” His dad shoves the paper at him and Reggie stumbles backwards. He trips over his own feet and bangs his shoulder on the counter on the way down. 

Reggie stays on the floor as his mom gestures to him and yells, “Look what you did, Nick!”

“What do you mean, look what I did? He deserved it, did you see the grade on that test?”

As his parents start their argument again, this time about him, he picks himself up off the floor and makes his way to his room. He flops down on his bed and looks up at the stars on his ceiling. 

Why does he have to be so  _ stupid _ ? He studied  _ so _ hard for that test and all he got was a C plus. Serves him right, though, for being so childish. God, why does he still have those stars up?

In a fit of anger, Reggie stands on his bed and rips the stars off of his ceiling. He flings them all around his room, not really caring where they land. “Stupid,” he mutters. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!”

By the time all of the stars are on the floor, tears are slipping down his cheeks. Reggie crumples to his bed, sobbing into his arms. 

He doesn’t know how long he’s sitting there for, but his parents are still going at it when his tears come to an end. 

It can’t have been that long, it’s still light outside. Reggie realizes with a jolt that they were supposed to have band practice today. He dries his face off and gathers up his bass.

He takes a deep breath before leaving his room. He quietly treads past the kitchen, knowing his parents won’t take notice of him. They’re too caught up in each other, and Reggie knows they don’t particularly care where he goes. 

The yelling is so much louder downstairs, so he quickly slips out the door and heads towards the studio. 

The sun is nearly setting by the time he makes it to the studio, and Reggie pauses outside the door. He can’t hear any noise coming from inside. Maybe the boys left. 

It’s probably for the better, he thinks. He’s not really in the right mindset to play right now.

Reggie opens the doors to the garage anyways, and is surprised to see Luke and Alex sitting on the couch inside. They both look up at his entrance, and Reggie waves awkwardly. 

“Um, sorry I’m late?” Reggie glances up at his friends, hoping they won’t be too mad at him for ditching rehearsal, but they both have looks of concern on their faces. 

“You okay, Reg?” Alex asks. 

“Yeah man,” Luke cuts in. “You’re never this late, and you usually let us know or something.”

“I’m fine,” Reggie lies, moving further into the studio. “I just lost track of time.” 

Luke looks at him skeptically, but still moves over and pats the spot between him and Alex. “Sit?” he asks. 

Reggie sits down in between his two friends, and Luke leans against his shoulder. The one he hit against the counter.

There must be a bruise there, because a spike of pain shoots through his arm. Reggie hisses and falls into Alex. Luke pulls away from Reggie like he’d been burned. 

“Reg, what’s wrong?” Alex asks, his arms coming up to hold Reggie.

“Oh, I just hit my shoulder on the counter, earlier.” he figures giving them a half-truth is better than a lie, right?

Luke doesn’t look convinced though. The guitarist is still angled away for Reggie, like he’s afraid he’s hurt him more, so Reggie pulls Luke towards him again. He goes easily, making sure to avoid Reggie’s shoulder. 

“And you managed to hit your shoulder, how?” Luke asks, threading his fingers through Reggie’s. 

He contemplates lying to them, telling them that he just slid on the floor in his socks and lost his balance. But he doesn’t want to lie to them. They’ve always told each other everything, and Reggie really doesn’t have the energy to keep the lie up.

He takes a deep breath and mumbles into Alex’s arm, “Dad pushed me.” He’s not sure he’s said it loud enough, but both Alex and Luke freeze.

“What?” Alex asks, his voice sounding strangled. 

Reggie spares a glance at his friends, but they just look concerned. Luke squeezes his hand in encouragement, so he says again, “He pushed me. I mean-he didn’t mean to! He was just angry ‘cause I interrupted him and he was mad at my test grade, so when he gave it back he just was a little too strong and-”

“Reg,” Luke cuts him off, his voice soft. “That’s not okay.” 

Why are they making a big deal out of this? HIs dad didn’t mean to push him, it was an accident! When he says as much, Alex just squeezes him gently. 

“That doesn’t make it okay, Reg. Even if he was angry, he shouldn’t have laid a hand on you.”

“He really didn’t hurt me-” Reggie starts to protest, but Luke cuts him off with a growl. 

“Don’t defend him!” The guitarist shouts, anger at Reggie’s parents winning over his concern for a moment. He instantly deflates when Reggie flinches back into Alex.

“Sorry. I’m sorry, Reg.” Luke says in a softer voice. “But please don’t defend him. Just because he doesn’t hit you all the time doesn’t make it okay.”

Alex squeezes him gently in agreement with Luke’s words. Reggie still thinks they’re wrong, but he knows he’s not going to win this fight with them. 

“Okay,” he agrees. “Okay.”

They sit in silence for a while longer before Alex breaks the silence. “Why don’t we all stay here tonight?”

Reggie wants to protest, wants to argue that his parents will be even more mad at him if he stays out all night. But in reality, he’s not sure his parents would even notice he’s gone. He’s not sure they even know that he left. 

In the end, it’s Luke’s puppy dog eyes that get him to agree.

“Please, Reg?” Luke begs, using the full power of his pleading eyes. “Please stay with us?”

And who is Reggie to say no?

Later, when they’re all squished into the pullout, Reggie sinks into his friend’s grasps. It’s quiet, except for the sounds of their breathing, and there’s no glow stars for him to look up to. 

But that’s okay, Reggie thinks. He doesn’t really need his glow stars to protect him from the monsters anymore. 

He has his boys.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this, please let me know what you think!


End file.
